I was walking back to the campsite the other day, when my known reality came to an intersection with my new reality.
Let me take you back a few years.
I have been overweight since 2003. I topped out at 230 pounds. I held onto this weight through the years and my last two pregnancies. I stretched my body to its known limits and held it there for years. Then, in 2013, I began to lose weight. As I lost weight, I found skin. The more weight I lost, the more skin there was, just hanging there. I tried to hide it in every way I could. I stood as tall as I could stand. I laid as flat as I could. I tucked my skin into my pants as I sat. Now, 80 pounds lighter, I looked, in my opinion, worse than I did before. My breasts were no longer their former size. They were just a skin remnant of what once was. I had no desire to be seen in less than fully covering clothes. For over a year, I struggled with finding beauty with my new body. I tried lotions, wraps, creams and dreamed of surgery. Truth be told, I knew I would never find what I was looking for in a plastic bottle, or from a scalpel, I just didn’t know how to escape the “flaws” of my new figure.
This was my saggy reality, until the other day.
As I walked back to the campsite, the Lord reminded me why I have a saggy belly and empty breasts. I carried and fed babies, five of them, from my body. I fell into major food addiction, and co-dependency with food. I fed my body to the locusts.
What the Lord had to show me, was that greater than all of those reasons, I have a saggy belly and empty breasts, because I did the hard work and carried these babies, because I was willing to use my body to feed them, because I was willing to face my addiction and conquer it, because I was willing to break up with food and take back what I had fed to the locusts! I have the new less than perfect physique because I did something to change my life. I no longer see those areas as areas to improve or hide. I see them as a reminder of the hard work and time I put in to change my family’s legacy.
So, if you see me sporting a bikini this summer, and you happen to spot that droopy skin, give me a huge smile and a high five, because I am not hiding this victory under a bushel any more!
Blessings to you on your journey!